March

Heyyy

Long-time no see, enjoy this look back on the most stressful month I’ve had in ages. 

University – Wow compared to my look back on February I’ve had such a different month. I’ve been working at the university, though not often it’s been nice to occasionally get out the house. I’ve had continuous deadlines through the month and found it difficult to convey how I’ve been feeling. I began with a reflection piece, which really made me think about events which I assumed didn’t bother me. Following that just a few days later I handed in my dissertation proposal which has been approved!! So, I can finally begin my work on that, something which I am terrified but excited for. I’ve also handed in a 4000-word essay on Sex Education which I did in the space of 4 days after a month of procrastinating on my project on Subscription Porn. The following two months are going to be dedicated to my dissertation and whilst I can’t wait, I also know it’s going to be a lot of hard work. 

Family – I’m very grateful for the family I have, it’s been an incredible month and my parents have supported me through it all whether that be furniture shopping or waking up through the night to my phone calls from the hospital/ambulance. Truly grateful.

Diet – After having a really bad foot injury I’ve really struggled to do exercise which in a way has really affected how I’ve been eating. I’ve eaten more takeaways due to stress and the inability to stand up. Around the time of my severe allergic reaction, I struggled to eat and that didn’t help the whole situation, I felt more tired and restless which made me feel worse for not eating but I physically couldn’t. I’ve not gained weight, though I’ve not lost weight unfortunately. Hopefully soon though. 

Friends – I miss my friends; I miss seeing them so much. Soon though! (Hopefully)

Health – Last month I spoke about how I had a lot of health problems. I didn’t think it’d get worse. My ultrasound scan found that I still have eggs, though not a lot. I’m hoping to get an appointment with a gynaecologist soon where I can discuss freezing my eggs and the potential of going on tablets to help losing weight with PCOS. I’m now on tablets for my acne, and I’ve seen such a difference in how my skin is looking. Long may it continue. I’ve recently found out I have a Vitamin D deficiency and so I’ve been on booster tablets for that ahead of beginning to take supplements daily for that. I had an allergic reaction a few weeks ago where I ended up calling an ambulance out as I was unable to breathe, I’d had a reaction to UTI tablets and I’m still in shock how that night worked out for me. It was scary to go through that alone, even though I had friends and family down the phone all night. 

Miscellaneous – We got the flat, I’m so excited to move to Dundee and begin the next aspect of my life! It’s been incredible to work through a lot of my problems and yesterday I actually finished my therapy sessions with the university. I’ve grown a lot since I began university in Carlisle and it’s evident through how I hold myself and the confidence I’ve recently started showing in both myself and my work. 

I’m proud of the woman I am, and this month has been both mentally and physically challenging and yet I haven’t had any alcohol or done anything typically toxic (though I’m sure my mum would class my desire for new clothes toxic). I’m learning to deal with things in a mentally better way and I hope it continues because I deserve this. I wasted too much time being in pain, hating myself and not living my life how I wanted. Hopefully that’s over and I can look after myself more. 

Also, I can’t believe tomorrow is April. This year is going so fast, I’m happy, but still a bit scared. 

See you in April.